Back at Sea World, Anna announces that it’s time to pick a guy for her first real date. She tells the Joes that she’s a bit shy so she’s going to whisper the name of her choice to a friend who will let them know who it will be. A sea lion then comes sliding up out of the water and she whispers into its ear. I’m thinking to myself, “this is sooo lame,” as the animal shoots across the pool to perch across from the Joes. The sea lion looks from side to side as if coming to a decision and then lets out a bark at Igor full of enough aggression to turn a T-Rex into a vegetarian. One by one the sea lion barks at the Joes until it finally stops in front of Aaron. As Aaron braces for the roar of the sea lion, the creature instead flashes a big grin at him and I think to myself, “this is sooo cool!”
For their date Aaron and Anna get to play in the dolphin pool. I personally can’t think of a more fun date. Anna dances with one dolphin and Aaron watches others turn somersaults. In a moment of pure pleasure, the couple leans across a couple of dolphins they are holding and share a brief kiss. Aaron is overjoyed. After the dolphins say goodbye and thank them for all the fish, the couple shares some quiet time over a glass of wine. Anna gently coaxes him into admitting that he was a bit of a geek in school, and she tells him that she actually admires someone who is studious and pursues goals.
In an interview she surmises that Aaron hasn’t dated much because he seemed very nervous. Meanwhile, Aaron tells us that she kept looking right at him, and the fact that he had her full attention made him feel wonderful. This is one of the things that makes Average Joe so interesting to watch. We see how the dates are going from both sides. He slowly slips his arm around her but doesn’t seem to know what to do with it once it lands. It sort of sits there like a sack of socks, and Anna explains to us that she does like a quiet man, but prefers one who can be a little aggressive and take charge of a situation. She gives him a fairly polite buss on the lips at the end of the date that poor Aaron takes as an optimistic sign for his chances with her. He seems oblivious to the fact that his sack of socks trick has failed to dazzle her.
Later that night – 3:40 am to be precise – some of the Joes are plotting revenge against Dante for his wake-up call. They strap the snoring Dante into his bed with thick electrical tape and… well, that’s it. They don’t do anything else. Apparently most of these guys don’t have many opportunities for vengeful thoughts and for them revenge is a dish best served with a nice side-salad and an aperitif.
The next day begins with a group date. Igor, Dante, Gino, Clay, Dan, and Josh join Anna aboard the yacht. Anna tells them they are headed to Malibu for some wetsuit fun. Igor asks her if she wears her underwear under the suit, and she tells him that he can “go commando” if he wants. Josh is concerned that he’s out with the more aggressive men of the group and decides to find his own way to make his presence known. He asks Anna if she’s cold and offers her a green poncho. The others all tease him enviously and he just smiles and says, “hey, I didn’t make the thing!” The guys ask her to say something in Polish, and although the subtitles translate it into, “thank you for coming out with me today,” Dante swears she said “you’ve all been voted off.”
Back at the house, Chuck has gotten word that a close friend is in the hospital and opts to leave the house and the show to take care of his friend. The Bible teaches that greater love hath no man than that he lay aside the hot dating show chick for a friend… or something like that… so my hat’s off to him for a classy decision. All kidding aside, it’s nice to see that he has his priorities in good order, and a lot of women who live near him and see this show may look at him with greater interest because of his decision.
Over in Malibu, Anna is going tubing. For those unfamiliar with this activity, it’s just like water skiing but you are towed in a large rubber raft instead of standing on sticks. After she takes a flip into the ocean, the other guys take a turn. Much fun is made of Dante, who is big enough that he has a terrible time getting into the tube. It becomes such an ordeal that even Anna can’t help but laugh at the situation. After a brief montage of flips and spills, we join the group for a somewhat serious bit of speculation. Dante thinks it will give Anna an opportunity to learn something about each of them if they tell her what one thing they would want with them on a deserted island. The answers are about what you might expect. Gino would bring his mother’s secret pasta sauce. Josh would want another person to keep him company. Clay, of course, opts for a Bible. Then Igor blows the conversation to kingdom come. “I’d bring a case of condoms,” he says. As everyone looks away in embarrassment, his words just sort of lay there like a 400-pound dead gorilla. He tries to cover it up by joking about filling them up and popping them like balloons, but it’s about as successful as stuffing all the Jell-O back into the box after you make it. Later, as Igor attacks the buffet like he caught it in bed with his woman, the others talk about how crass his comments tend to be. Of course, backbiting is the height of social grace.
Once again, as the group date winds down Anna gets to pick one gentleman to have a private date with. Much to the chagrin of the others, she chooses Gino. As the sun sets as a backdrop, Anna comes up on deck for a candlelit dinner with her choice. In a voiceover, Gino tells us that they didn’t need the candles because Anna lit up the area with her smile and beautiful hair. Watch out, Anna! There are few men more charming and gallant than a smitten Italian gentleman. True to form, he knows all the right moves. He pours her wine and compliments her in Italian. He tells her she has, “la faschia la dondo,” which loses something in translation and becomes “the round face” in English. He tells her that he finds an open and roundish face to be extremely attractive and comments on it several times. She finally disarms him completely by leaning over and giving him a brief kiss. To him, this is a green light. He tells us that he was so spellbound by her that all he could think was “ga-ga ga-ga-GA” and that he wanted to give her a real kiss – but “not like an animal!” We see him basically kiss her whole face repeatedly as he smooches her cheeks and lips and forehead. In fairness to Gino, I should point out that this was apparently the same moment played several times, but the amusing editing makes it look like he tried to eat her entire head. After the date he tells us that Cupid’s arrow is in his back and he is so giddy that he heads up to the control room to dance with and for the captain.
After a commercial break we see that the Studs are now racing their Mustangs down the roads leading into the LA area and are less than 50 miles from peeing on the Joes’ cornflakes.
The guys who missed the date aboard the yacht have gathered with Anna in a park where they are going to “throw some disks.” What this means is that some Olympics class dogs are going to be playing catch with the group. What it also means is that the people at Wham-O have decided not to pay ad money to the show and therefore the “disks” aren’t Frisbees.
After a series of scenes with the dogs showing off skills that would get them a job as hosts of a weekly show on Animal Planet, we see Arthur make his move. He shows Anna the proper technique for throwing a Fris… uhm Disk. Anna asks Jason if he’s ever dated an older woman, and he responds that he, in fact, hasn’t. He also mentions that he hasn’t dated a younger woman either! Arthur begins to grill Anna about her taste in music and discovers that they share a common love for big band swing. This smooth conversation leaves the others staring at the ground, and when it comes time for Anna to choose her private companion for dinner there is little doubt as to who it will be.
She and Arthur continue their discussion over drinks and dinner, and he is every bit as suave as Gino was the night before. As they dangle their feet in the pool, Arthur asks her about her dog and learns that her pet understands commands in Polish instead of English. At his urging she tells him some basic commands including “give me a kiss.” He asks her how to change it from an imperative command to a request and she is touched that he is able to repeat the Polish words perfectly. So touched, in fact, that she gives him a lingering and sincere kiss. Arthur is smitten. No doubt about it, the man is in full smite. Soon he tells her that she disarms him every time she looks at him. Rather than accept this flattery as she has from the others, for the first time she returns the compliment telling him that her face is sore from smiling so much with him. In interview she tells us that he made her laugh all evening and that she found that to be very sexy.
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