By the end of the evening Arthur has developed real doubts as to Anna’s sincerity and is beginning to question everything she’s said and done with him. With a private round of high-fives, Michael and Carson adjourn to bed after a job well done. Arthur is left behind, teary-eyed and broken. The other Joes spend some time with him to try and cheer him up and eventually his spirits do improve somewhat. They ask him how these two guys can possibly know Anna so well after just one day and claim to know more about her than he does after spending so much time with her. His shattered ego somewhat restored, Arthur heads wearily to bed, which is what I intend to do after I tell you about
:
The Elimination
This week we will say goodbye to four of the men. Two Joes and two of the hunks will be sent packing. Anna heads to the house in the limousine and she is clearly miserable at the choices she has to make. Although she tells the men how much she despises this part of things, she doesn’t seem to be too shaken up as she eliminates Greg, Jason, and Michael.
Greg is a bit hurt by it because he feels that her rejection means that he isn’t the right type. He can’t seem to grasp how any woman could fail to be captivated by him, which is probably the precise reason right there! Michael is philosophical about it, claiming she wasn’t his type to begin with so he got what he wanted out of the show and is happy to leave. He’s happy Carson is still at the house, but hopes he doesn’t win because he thinks Anna would be drag when he and Carson get together to party. Wow, that comment has bumps all over it from an 11-foot-pole because I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot one!
Anna now has to eliminate one more Joe and her eyes fill with tears. She tells us her final elimination is a “beautiful person” as the camera jumps back and forth between Arthur and Dante. At this point I’m getting a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as Anna begins openly weeping. Before she says it herself, Dante says, “It’s me,” and begins to walk forward. She finally stammers out his name as Dante steps up to embrace her. Once again proving that Prince Charming is often just a regular guy with a big, big heart, Dante consoles her and tries to cheer her up in the midst of the moment of defeat that she herself just orchestrated for him. In interview he tells us about how grand the experience was for him because he felt that he finally stood up for himself and gave his all. He tells us he is thrilled to have made it this far when so many others had already gone home. He wishes he had lasted a bit longer, but he’s content with the victories he has won.
Each week, one of the eliminated Joes is chosen for a complete makeover in preparation for a return to the house. This week the producers pick Dante and manage to avoid the firestorm of protest from angry viewers that would have resulted had they chosen differently. Sadly, Dante’s makeover isn’t the same as those of the other eliminated Joes. Because of comments about his hygiene, he is given a six-step body purification including a seaweed wrap. Having lived next to the ocean for many years I cannot conceive of seaweed helping anyone smell better unless they’ve been living under a compost heap, but that’s just my opinion. The Atlantic may be a great place to frolic, but at low tide I can testify that it has a tendency to give off a fragrance so pungent it could knock a buzzard off a corpse.
Because he has hair on his back, he is given a full back-waxing. Forgive me, but when did body hair become unmanly? Maybe it’s because I tend to resemble a Yeti or a Sasquatch myself, but I always felt that chest hair looked far more masculine than a shaved/waxed male body with a cutsie-poo tattoo of the Chinese character for “mama” on the shoulder. Then again I also prefer women who look like they’ve eaten a meal in the past year to the anorexic chic that passes for beauty nowadays too. I guess I’m just a relic from another age.
Dante also gets the requisite haircut – a perm – and some rather extensive dentistry. He spends eight hours in the chair and although it was difficult, he is thrilled. “Most people mortgage their house to pay for teeth like this,” he proudly proclaims. The dentist however speaks of how they had to “suffer through” Dante’s conversation. He may be a dentist by day, but at night he’s apparently a farmer who has raised up a bumper crop of crass.
Another oddity is his life coach session. We see him watching video of himself in action, but hear very little commentary about his reactions. The coach asks him to close his eyes and then tells him that people are calling him fat and smelly, etc. Then she asks him how he feels. “I feel sad,” he tells her. Gee, what a shock. Way to boost his confidence there, lady. She concludes by telling us she hopes he got something out of their sessions. “I hope he can just surrender a bit,” she tells us. Surrender to what?
He also gets new duds to complete his look, but missing is anything regarding diet or physical training. It’s almost as if the cosmetic artists gave a few things a shot and then just threw up their hands and surrendered a bit themselves. At the end of his sessions though, Dante is excited about coming back to see Anna again. He tells us that he hopes Anna will look at him and forget about all the other guys. I for one wish him luck.
Next week is the undercover sting episode. For those who are new to the show, let me elaborate a bit. The guys will be given a break from the grind of the show – or so they will be told. They will go out for a night on the town. What they don’t know is that while they cavort in a local bar, their waitress will be none other than Anna who will get the Official Mrs. Doubtfire treatment. Adorned with a wig, latex mask, and numerous other contrivances to hide her identity, she will observe how the men behave when they don’t know she’s around. It’s hard for me to believe that this trick still works after having been used before, and I expect that some of the Joes who studied previous seasons will pick up on the ruse very quickly. We do see one quick shot of Arthur loudly proclaiming there is only one woman for him, so he is either astute enough to see what’s happening, or he’s the real deal and truly smitten. Which is it? Will Carson be able to get a kiss now that both Michael and Dante are gone? Will this be the week that the made-over Joes finally return? Who is going home next? Will Anna be swayed be her heart or her lustful eyes? Drop me an e-mail with your predictions and we’ll watch the drama unfold next week!
You can contact Bruce at
BBarker57@yahoo.com.